


the incredible sprint

by shakespearespaz



Category: Doctor Who & Related Fandoms, Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Angst, F/M, Fluff and Crack, Gen, Post-Season/Series 12, Reality TV, World Travel, and also, but not directly bc i'm acting like that cliffhanger doesn't exist, coming off the events of the timeless children, hopefully this makes some sense if you haven't watched the amazing race, the amazing race - Freeform, the doc takes this competition very seriously
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-05
Updated: 2020-03-05
Packaged: 2021-02-28 20:00:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 7,398
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23022880
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shakespearespaz/pseuds/shakespearespaz
Summary: The Doctor and the Master compete as a team on The Amazing Race.(Okay, so this started as crack and fun times and then I started using it to process the events of The Timeless Children so it is what it is.)
Relationships: Thirteenth Doctor/The Master (Dhawan)
Comments: 12
Kudos: 55





	1. Mud

“You signed us up for what?”

“Consider this your official rehabilitation.”

“The Incredible Sprint?”

“The Amazing Race!”

“You have a timeship, Doctor! You are a being that can regenerate your body! With the ability to travel all of time and space! You gave birth to an entire race! We are not racing your pathetic humans around this tiny planet on foot for what? Money? And on television no less.”

“We’re not doing this for money. We’re doing this for the experience. Afraid you’ll lose?”

“I—I would not lose. In fact, it would be unfair for us to compete, given our physical and mental superiority.”

“Oh, like you care about fairness. Come on, we’re doing this.”

She tossed a purple backpack at him.

“I got you a backpack that matches your outfit. It’s got the essentials—trainers, clean underwear, biscuits, eyeliner.”

The Master clenched his jaw and let his eyes flutter close.

“You do this, and I tell you where I’ve parked your TARDIS.”

“Fine.” The words physically hurt him to say. “I will compete with you on The Amazing Race.”

\--

The race started in the rainy city of Seattle. Indeed, as they lined up at the starting line a light drizzle persisted. The Master looked over at the Doctor. She was utterly focused, her stupid game face that he remembered from childhood somehow still the same.

“Look at these idiots—” he whispered to her.

She shushed him. He knew he was right, to him the humans barely looked capable of crossing the street much less crossing the world. Well, if she wouldn’t let him talk to her—

_We’re going crush all of them._

He could tell the Doctor heard his communication because she rolled her eyes over to him.

_Not now._

He protested.

_We haven’t even started yet!_

She twisted her head back to the man who was waiting to tell them to start. The Master was relentless.

_What? Afraid they’ll hear? Those two have so much testosterone in their system they wouldn’t understand us if we shouted monosyllabic words in their faces._

He knew she could tell which beefy dudes he was pointing out.

_Despite all the yoga they practice, the couple next to them is going to implode before they even get on a plane, I guarantee it. And the team next to them, those sisters? Well, I just don’t like their faces. Maybe we’ll go somewhere tropical and I can feed them to some sharks or, even better, toss them in an active volcano. And that white man with dreads couldn’t even find his way to a shower so…_

He got another killer look from her.

_And those grandmas—eh, they’re the only ones with a shot._

“And go!”

The man in front of them was shouting.

“That’s us!”

The Doctor was out like a shot, leaving the Master to collect his thoughts.

_Wait!_

She did not wait. He watched her sprint with the others to their bags. She was beckoning forcefully at him as he sauntered over.

“Get over here!” she urged him through gritted teeth, “I can’t open it until you’re here!”

“You’re an immortal being from another dimension, you can do whatever you want.”

_Shut up._

Her voice in his mind made him smile. She ripped open the envelope.

“Oh, that’s a satisfying sound,” she blurted out before reading, “Fly to San Jose, Costa Rica!”

Her eyes were wide, locked with his.

“I don’t know what’s in San Jose, Costa Rica, but I’m excited!”

She picked up her bag and took off at a run down the hill. The Master had a feeling he’d be doing a lot of running over the next few weeks.

\--

It was a volcano. Of mud.

The Doctor ripped open the envelope with glee.

“Search for your next clue in the volcanic mud bath.”

The Master groaned. “No way.”

“Yes way.”

She grabbed his hand and dragged him toward the changing tents. In mere moments and after minimal arguing they emerged. The Doctor was in her striped t-shirt and blue baggy swim trunks and the Master in slightly shorter purple swim trunks and a tight purple surf shirt.

The landscape around them was steaming dramatically and smelled strongly of sulphur. Red and yellow arrows pointed towards a small mountain of mud with rickety wooden ladder to the top.

The Doctor walked aggressively toward the ladder. One hand had made it onto the first rung when a body much larger than her slammed her out of the way. She tumbled into the mud.

“Hey!”

The team of two men built like small tanks climbed onto the ladder in front of her and the Master.

“Sorry, didn’t see you there, pipsqueaks.”

The other one laughed.

“Nice outfits. Are you even from this country? Are you even from this planet?”

“Yeah girl, why are you afraid to show a little skin?”

They lumbered up the ladder and out of sight. The Doctor scrambled to her feet.

“Still think this is fun?” the Master asked, mockingly.

“Not all humans are like that,” she said, convincing herself.

“I’ve never drowned in anyone in mud before. That would be fun.”

“If you touch anyone—”

“I know, I know. No TARDIS.”

She nodded.

“We can beat them fair and square,” she told him.

“God, but at what cost?” he complained.

“Up,” she ordered.

The Master climbed the ladder, up towards the crater at the top. They stood on the edge, and he watched the competitors fight it out below, covered in mud, slipping and sliding. The Doctor jumped in without hesitation.

“Why in the name of ten galaxies am I doing this?” he asked no one in particular, before descending to join their humiliating game.

\--

“It keeps stalling out!”

The Master leaned forward to peer into the front seat.

“You’re the super special chosen one, the progenitor of our entire race, and you can’t drive a stick shift.”

He laughed loudly and sat back. She ignored him as the engine made another horrible noise and she made a face to match.

“I practiced this—” She said through gritted teeth.

The car lurched forward into a muddy pothole and jerked to a stop again. The Master cackled in the backseat and the Doctor let out a string of Gallifreyan expletives.

“Is the parking brake on?” he asked, jokingly.

“No!” she protested confidently. Then a moment later: “Oh, shit, yes.”

She undid the parking brake, and the car rolled forward. It didn’t stop this time.

“Doctor?” he asked casually.

They kept rolling forward, splashing into muddy pothole after muddy pothole. The green of the jungle around them started passing more and more quickly, until it was no more than a blur.

“I got this,” she said, grunting at the car.

“Doctor?” he asked again, slightly less casually.

They hit a large bump, catapulting the Master into the ceiling.

“Doctor! Just hit the brake!”

She didn’t respond.

“You do know which one the brake is, right?”

“Trial and error!” she said, before slamming on all of pedals at once.

They came to a horrifying, screeching stop. The Master let out one final belly laugh, stopping himself halfway thru. His smile fell off his face.

“Out of the front seat,” he said humorlessly.

“What? No!”

“Do you want to make it to the pit stop in this century?”

She twisted around, a grin on her face.

“You used the word pit stop! See you are getting into this game.”

“Out,” he repeated, shoving his door open.

She opened her door too and stepped out into the mud. He tiptoed around the muddiest spots and in doing so, passed too close to her. She caught his gaze and saw an opportunity.

“Thought you wouldn’t mind dying?” she asked, the taunting edge in her voice clear.

He gave uncommitted smile.

“I can think of more dignified ways than you driving us off a cliff in a jeep.”

“Hm.” She watched him for a moment.

He broke off the moment, climbing into the driver’s seat.

“Come on,” he said, “We’ve got to at least beat those two jocks. God, I hate them. Almost as much as I hate you.”

“Heartwarming,” the Doctor said, sarcastically.

They continued in silence. Finally, the winding road opened up. The trees cleared just enough to reveal the ocean, blue and sparkling and seemingly endless. If they looked close enough, they could see birds of all colors and perhaps the spout or two of a whale.

“Look, look, look!” the Doctor exclaimed.

“Yeah, it’s the ocean,” he said flatly.

“It’s magnificent,” she breathed.

The Master didn’t respond, or even look.

\--

After they made it to pit stop, they were holed up in a little cabin in the middle of the jungle, waiting for the next leg. Rain pounding on the roof, the Master could finally relax.

He meticulously scrubbed every article of clothing he’d worn that day, hanging it to dry. He showered too, put on his purple pajamas and sat down to scrub his backpack.

“What on earth are you doing?”

He looked up at the Doctor. She was lying in the bed, unchanged except her coat was off, hair curly from their adventures. She’d been testing her sonic out on various objects in the room, but stopped, arm midair to take him in.

“Cleaning,” he said.

“Oh no,” the Doctor said doubtfully, “I know you, and you’re not clean.”

He pursed his lip and took a sharp breath.

“I hate mud,” he said quietly.

“I’m sorry, love, couldn’t hear you.”

“I hate mud,” he said louder, “ _love._ ”

The Doctor smirked and pointed her sonic at the lamp, making it flash on and off just because she could.

“Noted for future reference.”

“I hate you.” He stood and headed into the bathroom.

“Keep saying that and one day you may even believe it!” she called after him.

Wherever this stupid game would take them next, the Master prayed there wouldn’t be mud.


	2. Karaoke

The Pacific Ocean was beneath them. Grey and blue stretched out below them, occasionally replaced by the undulating grey and white of clouds. The Doctor’s nose was glued to the plane window. Except when it wasn’t.

“Are you gonna eat those?”

She pointed at his package of airline peanuts. She didn’t wait for a response. She grabbed them and started eating, turning her face back to the window.

He understood obsession, but he’d never understood her obsession with this particular planet.

“Oh, birds!” she said and pointed, “Too late. They’re gone. You missed it.”

Maybe he did understand. It was home to her, perhaps even more so in light of recent revelations. _Home._ The word hadn’t meant anything to him in a long time. A weapon was all that word was. He had no—

_You’re broadcasting your negativity all over this plane._

Clearly the ocean wasn’t as interesting as she pretended it was, because she was in his head.

_Oh, telepathy. Intimate, Doctor._

_We’re sitting next to each other on a 13 hour flight. It doesn’t get much more intimate than this._

_Reason #897 humanity sucks: they figured out flight but have somehow made it into the most uncomfortable experience possible._

She turned to give him a scathing look.

_Alright, listen._ She continued in his mind. _We’ve got to talk strategy for when we get to Japan._

He rolled his eyes and leaned back the inches he could in his chair.

_The jocks have been eliminated, but I’m worried about yoga couple and the sisters._

_Feeding them to sharks is still an option._

Another look from the Doctor.

_The sisters can’t navigate to save their lives. I’m hoping the confusion of a big city will do them in. And that couple is a powder keg. One well timed nudge and—_

“Hi there, can I get you something to drink?”

The flight attendant was at their row with the drink cart. The Doctor turned to the Master dramatically.

“Should I?” she asked, “Why not? You only live once, right?”

The Master snorted, as the Doctor looked up at the attendant.

“I’ll go wild. Give me a ginger ale.”

The Master sighed and turned to the attendant as well.

“Make mine a double.”

\--

Navigating to the next stop using public transportation wasn’t too challenging. Unfortunately, they had a shadow. The sisters were right behind them.

“Look, Shimizu Rooftop Bar, this way,” she said pointing to a sign in Japanese.

The Master grabbed her forearm and pulled her in close, out of earshot of the women behind them.

“Are you even going to pretend, Doctor?”

“Pretend what?”

“Universal translators,” he prompted.

He could see the realization in her eyes.

“That’s cheating, isn’t it?” he taunted.

“No...no,” she resisted, shrugging his arm away, “Lots of people speak lots of languages.”

She turned to face the women who were closing in behind them.

“Hi, by the way, I speak and read Japanese,” the Doctor blurted out, “Very well. Fluently. In case, you know, anyone was wondering.”

The shorter sister looked startled and then suspicious.

“You also spoke Spanish,” she pointed out.

“I speak many languages,” she boasted, “I’m a man of the world.”

“Woman,” the Master prompted.

“Woman. I’m a woman of the world.”

“Anyway, we have to complete this detour now,” the Master cut in, “Best of luck, human sisters. Try not to get hit by a car or meteor.”

He dragged the Doctor around the corner and into the skyscraper.

\--

The detour was karaoke. The yoga couple was already in front of them, so they needed to hurry. The Master laughed when he saw the stage, but the Doctor was frozen.

“Finally, something fun,” he said, his eyes glistening, “The key here, Doctor, is you gotta own it.”

“I can’t sing,” she said, terrified, “Past me maybe, but this me, no.”

“Then draw on past you. And current you. You’re an idiot who doesn’t care about looking like an idiot, so use that.”

She rolled her eyes to him.

“You’re so inspirational.”

“Come on, let’s choose a song.”

He reacted as he shuffled through their options, laughing, frowning, clicking his tongue. The Doctor watched him, eyes wide, attention turning back to the stage every now and then as the couple up there belted out butchered, off key Japanese.

“Ah ha!”

His shout startled the yoga couple, but they kept going.

“I found it. Our song.”

He stood square with her, shaking out his limbs as a warm-up.

“We’re next, Doctor, brace yourself.”

“You’re not gonna let me listen to it??”

He placed his hands on her shoulders.

“Trust me, it will be a more organic performance this way.” He watched her. “Oh don’t look at me like that. Run towards your fear, Doctor.”

“That’s rich, coming from you.”

The yoga couple’s song ended. They shouted and hugged and kissed when they were presented with their next clue.

“Ew,” the Master responded, “Nasty.”

They were next. The Master pulled her onto the stage, and she collected the microphone. She took a deep breath.

The Doctor was pretty sure she’d blocked out the entire experience from her memory. There had been cheers from the hired audience. The Master gave an overenthusiastic air guitar solo at one point. The song was a weird mashup of rock and Japanese pop with lyrics that she literally understood but still didn’t understand. She’d sung, maybe. Maybe she’d just stood there like a deer in the headlights.

She returned to her body when the DJ presented them with the next clue. The Master was charged up. He whooped and did a lap around the bar, high fiving people and shouting in their faces, finally returning to the stage to wrap his arms around her and lift her up.

“Okay,” she managed to get out, “Put me down. _Put me down_.”

After she repeated herself, he dropped her.

“Open the clue,” she said, her voice still disconnected from her consciousness.

She could feel his eyes on her, but wasn’t present enough to read further into them.

“Make your way to the pit stop,” he read.

“Let’s go,” she managed to get out.

\--

They stumbled onto the mat at the pit stop. The man was there, welcoming them to third place. His lips were moving but his words were not reaching the Doctor. The world was slowly slipping from its correct orientation, bright city lights blurring.

She could feel the Master’s arm, warm at her waist, and she could feel herself gradually putting more and more weight on it. Finally, her knees gave way and she found herself on top of the backpacks at their feet. There were urgent voices and faces above her, but the only face she could focus on was the Master. Brown eyes above her and that variable voice cut through.

“Doctor. Doctor, sit up.”

Hands were at her back and she did slowly. A young man was asking her questions. Some of them she could respond to.

“When did you last eat?”

“On the plane. I had peanuts.”

“That’s all you ate?” the Master interrupted, disbelieving.

She twisted her head to him.

“I don’t need that much. I’m a Time—” she stopped. She didn’t know how to finish that sentence.

She thought she saw a hint of smugness in his dark eyes, but maybe it was something else. The host man spoke.

“You don’t have to continue with the race if you don’t want to.”

The Doctor shook her head swiftly.

“No. I have to keep going.”


	3. Grandma

He stole a glance at her across the tuk tuk. She’d been close to silent in the airport, on the flight, even since they landed in this new and wondrous corner of her favorite planet. She was tired, he figured.

“It’s alright, Doctor, you can admit it. This planet is an overpopulated, underrated swamp. Let’s get out of here, take over a spa planet and spend a nice long time being waited on and recovering. It’s been a long lifetime for you, hasn’t it?”

The look she gave him would have cut deeper if he wasn’t already used to it.

“Well, if we’re getting a divorce,” he joked, “Then I get custody.”

He picked up the Travelocity Roaming Gnome from between them on seat. She didn’t respond.

“Well, I guess if you’ve given up then we don’t need this anymore.”

He tossed the gnome out of the side of vehicle into the street.

“Stop!” the Doctor shouted.

The tuk tuk slammed to halt and the Doctor flung herself over the Master and out that side of the vehicle. She returned with the slightly scuffed but not much worse for the wear gnome.

“Why did you do that?” she asked urgently, climbing back into her seat, “The clue clearly states that the gnome must be with us at the pit stop, otherwise we will be unable to check in.”

The Master chuckled. “I just wanted to make sure you still had a pulse.” He cleared his throat. “Not that it really matters to me.” He paused and looked her clutching the red and white and blue gnome tightly in her lap. “Have you eaten today?” He waited for a response that didn’t come. “If you haven’t, I picked up some biscuits at the airport. I can feel the weight of them in my pack with every step I take, so you better eat some.”

She shifted to look at him.

“That’s thoughtful,” she said dryly, “But just for the record, the gnome is twice the partner you’ll ever be.”

\--

He ended up with custody of the gnome at the Road Block. She’d claimed the task as soon as she got there. He didn’t know what she had to prove, but it burned through her. She dove straight in, skipping down to the riverbank to the pieces that were there.

She had to assemble a boat and motor. The Doctor rolled up her sleeves and went to work.

The Master felt useless and proud, watching her scurry back and forth. Occasionally she’d stop moving and admire her work, and he could see the wheels turning in her first rate mind. He hated it. She didn’t need him and never had. She, alone, was so much more than they were together. He started fantasizing about all the brutal ways he could injure or murder the gnome once she completed the task. He’d smash on the ground in front of her hopeful smile or chuck it in the river or use it to bash in the face of the host when they were standing on the mat—

_Help._

She was standing on the riverbank staring up at him with those stupid wide eyes. The boat looked complete.

_What is it now?_

She nodded toward the boat.

_The motor won’t start._

_You’re cheating, Doctor._

_I’m not! You’re allowed to encourage just not give specific advice. And they don’t need to know our business._

The Master rolled his eyes and shifted the gnome to his other hip.

_I know I built the motor right!_

_Well, clearly, you didn’t._

She let out a frustrated noise and knelt back down next to it, her greasy hands diving back in.

_Doctor, can you please just sonic it and we can be on our way?_

_No._ That _is cheating._

_Come on, come on. Yoga couple is gonna beat us. This should be easy as cake to you. Their technology is so basic._

She hit the motor hard.

_You’re not helping. And it’s pie, easy as pie._

The Master took a deep breath. He wanted more than anything to just keep heckling her, but the sun was hot and he was getting irritated with the humans surrounding him. His options were rapidly becoming murder or getting her through this.

_Go back to the beginning. Did you miss something? Well, besides everything._

She was slow in responding.

_No._

_Is there something wrong with your plan?_

_No, I’ve wired things this way thousands of—_

_Did you look at the example?_

“No!” She shouted it out loud, startling her neighbor. She glanced back towards the Master as she scrambled to her feet. She’d completely overlooked the example laid out for them.

_Oh, I see they used…_

She trailed off into a murmur in his head. He would usually tell her to shut up, for there was too much happening in his crowded mind already, but it was strangely comforting. He heard the motor start up with a celebratory “Yes!” from her.

Clue in hand, she barreled back towards him.

“I did it!” she said.

“Yes, now open the clue.”

She ripped it open. “God, I still love that sound.”

They both read it together.

“Alright, let’s go,” he urged.

“By the way,” she said, as they hastened back towards their tuk tuk, “My way was better.”

“It didn’t work, Doctor.”

“Still better.”

\--

They sat on the ground at the airport. They’d gotten to the pit stop, only for the man to tell them they were still racing. Now they were exhausted and stuck in airport hell, trying to make their way halfway across the world to Italy. Yoga couple were still in it, as were the sisters, but the Doctor had made some new friends. The grandmas sat above her in uncomfy airport seats.

“So that was when we realized we had lived our whole lives for our families and not for ourselves,” the grandma who always wore yellow said.

“Not that we mind it,” explained the grandma who always wore orange, “We love them. We just figured that it was time to do something for ourselves.”

“So you decided to travel the world with each other?”

“No one else I’d rather do it with,” the grandma in yellow said.

“They say if we win, we’ll be the oldest team to ever have won.”

The Doctor smiled. “Sure.”

“You plotting my assassination over here?”

The Master had returned with coffee.

“He’s such a funny young man, isn’t he?”

“That’s one word for him,” the Doctor replied.

The Master sat down next to her, leaning against the wall.

“Here’s your peppermint mocha. I took the liberty of making it decaf so you wouldn’t end up buzzing into another dimension. Or, you know, returning to the dimension from whence you came. I also got you an egg sandwich, which you _will_ eat.”

She made a small sound of protest but decided to drop it when she saw what he was holding.

“What is _that_?”

“Oh this, it’s a unicorn Frappuccino.”

He leaned in.

“Made with real unicorns.”

“What? No…that’s barbaric!”

He laughed, and she realized what had happened.

“You are so easy to wind up, Doctor. Gullible is written on the ceiling. Now, eat your sandwich.”

She did, not because he told her to, but because she was hungry.

“How did you pay for all this?” she asked through a full mouth, “We were basically out of money when we got here.”

“Oh, kind words. You’re right—people are actually quite generous if you give them a chance.”

She frowned at him.

“You hypnotized them.”

He shrugged and slurped his bright drink.

“I’ve done worse.”

“You two are quite something,” orange grandma interjected.

“Odd,” said the other one, “but very impressive.”

“Your families must be so proud.”

The Doctor froze.

She could feel the Master’s eyes on her. She was exhausted, and she didn’t want to do this, not here, not now. So much was unprocessed in her brain and this game was working as a distraction, but she knew he wouldn’t let it go on forever. She couldn’t miss his small jabs. She may have dragged him along on this ridiculous outing, but he knew the knife was still buried deep in her gut and exactly how to put pressure on it. Not now, she pleaded.

“We’re out of touch with our families,” he answered, “They’re kinda scattered all over the place anyhow. In pieces, some of them.”

The Doctor looked up at him. It was clear in his eyes that he knew he’d covered for her.

“Oh, well, that’s a shame,” yellow grandma cooed.

“You’re welcome in our family anytime.”

They both stood slowly, and shuffled down the hall towards the food court.

The Doctor couldn’t bring herself to look over at him.

“Thank you.”

She swallowed.

“For the coffee,” she added quickly.

The hand closest to her wrapped around her wrist without warning and jerked her closer to him.

“Oh, this is far from over. You brought me on this ride, Doctor, and you’re going to see it to the end.”


	4. Lost

The world was a maze. More specifically, their world, which was the narrow streets of a small Italian town, centuries old buildings towering around them. The Doctor was running, and the Master was not pleased.

“Slow down!” he panted as they reached an intersection, “Why do any of your friends stay with you at all? They could just sign up for a gym and get the same experience, minus your incessant commentary.”

She ignored him and consulted the map again.

“I swear it’s this way. Oh, why do all these streets look the same!”

The Master squinted up at an elaborate white building.

“We’ve seen that church before, Doctor. We’re going in circles. Just like your life. Hey, maybe your memory loss is becoming short term, and that’s why we’re just running through the same streets again and again. Do you even remember me?”

“Shut UP.”

She turned on him, fire in her eyes. He just made a small ‘O’ shape with his mouth and inhaled sharply.

“Oh, you have so not addressed that trauma, Doctor.”

“Just…. _move,_ ” she said through gritted teeth.

She grabbed his hand and dragged him up an alleyway that soon became stairs.

“Oh god, why are we going up now?” he complained.

“If we can get to a viewpoint of the whole city, then we can figure this out,” she explained rapidly as she climbed, “I’ve just gotten turned around, and if I can see all the pieces before me then I’ll know where to go next.”

She kept dragging him.

“No, I mean, why am _I_ here. Going up. I’m done going up, Doctor! I’m done!”

He shook her off him and planted himself on a stone step.

“Get up!” she snarled at him, “If we don’t find the cluebox, then we could get U-Turned and then we’ll have to fight our way through another task.”

He just shrugged.

“This is your game, not mine.”

“Get up!” she repeated.

“No.”

She grabbed his arm and tried to drag him to his feet. He resisted, plopping back down on the step. She shoved him, trying to get under his arm to lift him up. He started chuckling, then laughing, then was literally rolling on the floor.

“You’re so ridiculous, Doctor.”

He was still laughing.

“Get up. Damn you, you get up!”

“I know what you’re trying to do, even if you can’t admit it to yourself.”

“And what is that, _Master_?”

He stopped laughing and popped up into her face.

“You taking me on this ridiculous trip to try and get me to see the light again. To see a place that gives you hope in the hopes that I might share in it just a smidge.” He was so close he was almost spitting in her face. “Joke’s on you.”

“No,” she said, her voice trembling as she tried to calm down, “That’s not why.”

“Why then?”

His eyes darted back and forth, reading her face. She managed to find half a smile when she realized she had him.

“Get to the next pit stop, and I’ll tell you.”

He had to know, he needed to know, and she knew that.

“Fine,” he spat out, “But if you don’t tell me, then I will murder every other contestant in this race and make you watch.”

“You’ve done worse,” she replied.

She turned with a swish of her coat and continued to climb up the cobblestone alley.

\--

“They U-Turned us!”

The Doctor stared in disbelief at the sign. Orange and yellow grandma both stared up at them from the picture below theirs. The Master didn’t care, but he could sense how badly this betrayal hurt the Doctor. He wanted to revel in it, but there was no time.

“Come on,” he said, “We have to do the other side of the Detour.”

The other side involved dancing and ridiculous Renaissance gowns. It was the last thing either of them wanted to do. After a brief argument over who would take which role, they separated to get dressed.

Of course she’d chosen a blue gown, although she stood awkwardly in it, like her center of balance was all wrong.

“My center of balance is all wrong,” she blurted out angrily at him.

“Hey, I am less than comfortable in this.” He pulled at the edge of his red doublet.

They took their places on the dance floor.

“I know you can move in a dress,” she told him, “Missy lived in a dress.”

“Maybe I just like seeing you suffer, Doctor.”

An aggressive melody began playing, and they did their best.

“This is the planet you stand for,” he said, as they stepped towards each other in the dance, “One with rigid gender roles they can’t shake even after centuries of knowing it’s wrong. How can you support this?”

She tripped over the hem of the dress and the music stopped. The lead dancer motioned for them to start again.

“And what planet do you claim?” she said, watching her feet, “At least I stand for something.”

The dress caught on her foot again and she face planted forward. The Master stepped back and let her fall.

“What was that about standing?”

The lead dancer motioned at them again.

“I think he’s talking to you,” she said, “You’re supposed to be leading and you’re getting the steps all wrong.”

They made it further this time, until they got to the final twirl. She plowed into him. His hands angrily found her shoulders. She shoved them off.

“Stop it,” he barked.

“I can’t keep my balance in this. We need to switch.”

He knew she was right.

“Fine.”

They switched. He was much better at moving in the dress, and despite her lack of awareness of her limbs in space, the Doctor could keep pace with the tempo much better. They said nothing through their 16 more tries, staring angrily into each other’s eyes whenever they passed on the dance floor.

Finally, the teacher gave them a solemn nod of approval. 

They tore out of there without changing, with only the finish line in their sights.

\--

They had come in last. They were both ready for it to be over, when they received an unwelcome surprise.

This had been a non-elimination leg.

They were still in it, stuck together. In this case, they were still literally stuck in a non-descript hotel room for their mandatory rest period. The Doctor collapsed on the bed, still in the red doublet. A hand found her shoulder.

“Doctor, I need help getting out of this dress.”

She sat up and started undoing the fasteners on the back. Soon, he was free. He threw the dress on the floor, leaving him in only his undershirt and trousers. The Doctor saw the fire in his eyes the moment before it hit her.

He was on top, pinning her down to the bed.

“Why did you make me do this?”

His eyes were clear, pleading. No more games. She swallowed and responded simply.

“I needed you.”

“You needed me? After everything, after I set it all up perfectly to finally reach an end, and you refused, you think you have the _right_ to _need_ me.”

She watched his face above hers, and then pushed back, pushed them both into a sitting position.

“You find that so hard to believe? After telling me entire life was a lie, you didn’t stop to think that maybe, _maybe,_ I might want a friend? Who might, just _might,_ know what it feels like to be irrevocably hurt at the hands of the Time Lords.”

“We’re not friends.”

“No, we’re not,” she said coldly, getting off the bed.

“God,” he exclaimed, looking up at her, “You’re so high and mighty, so _special_ , and I _hate_ you. Why were you chosen, you smug coward? Why _you—_ ”

“You think I was chosen?!” It was her turn to close the distance between them. “They wiped my memory. They took my lives from me. They experimented on me, and used me, and brushed it under the rug. They stopped me from growing, reverted me back to a _child._ ”

She could feel the rage now, in her hearts, a rage that she hadn’t been able to process. Because it wasn’t directed at him, not really, despite everything he’d done and tried. She was so tired, and as much as she wanted to push through it, some days it just consumed her. She was on her knees, head against the edge of the bed.

“Yeah, only they didn’t stop you.”

“What?”

“All that, and you still kept going. You kept going and were still _good._ They did nothing to me compared to what they did to you. And look at who I became.” He joined her on the floor. “Why do you think I destroyed Gallifrey? You never would, and they _deserved_ it.”

He reached forward, and she flinched slightly. He didn’t do anything except begin undoing the top of her doublet. She let him.

“You destroyed it…” she breathed.

She could see it all in his wide, brown eyes, even as he focused on his hands and the task before him—the rage, the pain, the anger, the possessiveness, the _love._

“Finish this race with me,” she asked, “As a friend.”

“I can’t change. It’s too late for that.”

“I’m not asking you to. Be the person who can destroy Gallifrey. I’ll be the one who can’t.”

He’d reached the bottom of the doublet, and he helped her gently shrug it off.

“I’ve been on this dull planet long enough,” he replied, “But I guess a little bit longer couldn’t hurt.”


	5. Aurora

They landed in Iceland around noon. They were on fire. They’d successfully deceived the sisters at the airport, convincing them to get on a later flight. They were seated in the front row of the plane, ready to disembark. They were the first to their rental cars, and without hesitation the Master took the driver’s seat.

“You know where we’re going?” he asked.

“Yeah, I got it. Drive like the wind, just don’t hit any children or animals.”

“Old ladies?”

“Depends on how old.”

The Master chuckled and floored it. They pulled in first to the detour.

“There’s our speed bump. We were last on the last leg, so we gotta do it,” the Doctor explained, pointing at the sign.

“Please be something cool, or maybe even warm,” the Master said, as he pulled a purple hat on over his ears. Iceland was cold.

The Doctor ripped the envelope open. She broke into a grin.

“Take a scenic boat ride of the fjords!”

She pulled her rainbow scarf out of bag, along with a rainbow hat. She was ready. Once on the boat, they had to spot a certain number of species of birds. They stood shoulder to shoulder on the bow, the Doctor clutching the laminated bird list in her hand.

The wind was cold and stung her cheeks, but she hadn’t felt this alive in a long time. The mountains rose dramatically out of the water, sentinels guarding the grey-blue bay. They were draped in green, and though the land looked cold and barren, life was everywhere. The boat nosed up against some rocks and birds swarmed higher than she could see. They were nesting on the rocks.

“Puffins!” she pointed.

There were plenty of the small black, white, and orange birds.

“Do you know what a group of puffins is called?” she asked the Master.

He shook his head.

“A circus!”

He made a displeased noise.

They searched together. She found most of them, but the Master found some as well. Finally, they handed the sheet to the deckhand, who gave them their clue. The boat zoomed back to shore, the salty spray hitting her full force, curling her hair, and prompting a wide grin to spread across her small face.

For the detour they chose the glacier.

They had to maneuver over the tongue of a glacier, digging their crampons into the ice to cross. It was not easy work, but the ice seemed to glow blue beneath them. The trek was perilous but rewarding. The Master watched the Doctor in front of him, taking one steady step at a time, and literally followed in her footsteps.

Then, she stopped.

Fear clutched at his hearts.

“Doctor?”

She took a deep breath in and turned to face him. Her arms sprung out from her side, hailing the wide, pale blue sky above, her feet planted in the dark blue below.

“We’re alive!” she shouted, “We’re alive, and we’re on a glacier!”

He couldn’t help but smile at her. He didn’t feel it, but she did, and for a brief moment he thought he could stand on that glacier forever, looking her, lit up from the inside and overflowing with joy and hope. That was a magnificent sight.

The moment was brief though, as he remembered that he could not feel his fingers.

“I’m cold,” he shouted at her, “Keep moving.”

She did. After they descended from the glacier, they knew the end had to be near. He floored to the next stop, although she did have to yell at him to not run over some sheep.

A small cottage with a roof of green and smoke drifting from the chimney greeted them. Inside, a rosy cheeked man offered them a mix of pickled seafood. They had to eat all of it, together.

The Doctor dug in first, but ran out of steam soon. The Master opted for the slow and steady tactic. He slowly took bite after bite. She wasn’t getting much down anymore, since she was making more faces of disgust than she was actually eating. Then he started laughing at her stupid, small face. She just kept asking “What?” which only made him laugh harder.

Finally, their spoons scraped the bottom of the bowl. They raced back out to the car, and all four hearts sunk simultaneously.

They had a flat tire.

“That’s it then,” the Master declared.

“No,” the Doctor urged, “Come on, we have to change it. We can still do it!”

She moved to open the trunk, searching around for the spare. The Master shook his head.

“Doctor, come on, it’s alright, it’s over.”

She hauled the tire out of the back and onto the ground.

“No, no. I can fix this.”

She rolled the tire over, but was stopped by a warm hand on her arm.

“Doctor.”

“It’s not over until it’s over!” she urged.

His eyes were gentler than she’d seen them in a long time. She dropped the tire and placed her hand over his. The sensation was electric, although there were still layers between them.

“Today was good,” he said simply, “Let it end.”

The sun was setting, and so they waited even as the temperature dropped, for the inevitable. Before it came though, the day wasn’t done. Purples and pinks and blues lit up the sky against a starry backdrop. Waves of light danced above their heads.

“The aurora borealis,” the Doctor breathed.

She shivered. The Master tucked her arm in next to his, pulling her close. She sniffled.

“Are you…are you crying?”

“It’s so stunning. I love it. It’s Earth’s magnetic field made visible and beautiful. It’s a reminder of the invisible force that protects this small planet from everything space and the sun throws at them. So few of them ever see it, but it’s there, keeping them safe.”

“You love everything,” the Master said, a hint of condescension breaking through.

“There’s so much to love.” She turned to look at him, tears tracks down her cheeks, eyes glistening in the light. “Even the parts that don’t look beautiful at first. There’s still so much there.”

They didn’t say any more, until the host found them. They were eliminated, said goodbye, and gave one last interview.

“It hasn’t been easy,” the Doctor said, “but I wouldn’t trade the last few weeks for anything.”

“I would,” the Master said, “But it’d have to be something big, like a total conquest of the universe.”

The Doctor elbowed him in the side.

“Ow,” he exclaimed before continuing, “What’s in the future? I don’t truly know. I need a good few millennia to plot my next escapades.”

\--

They were alone again, in a small cabin in the cold north. The Doctor sat literally on top of the fire in her rainbow pajamas, warming herself.

“You should just get a heavier coat,” the Master said.

“Oh, like you dress practically.”

He sat down next to her.

“What are you going to do now?” the Master asked.

“Same thing I’ve always done, I suppose,” she replied, “But first, I need a really, really, really long nap.”

He gestured towards the bed.

“Then sleep, Doctor.”

She stood, but hesitated and turned back.

“And you?” she responded, raising an eyebrow.

“Well, after you tell me where my TARDIS is, I might do a little sightseeing.” She gave him a look. “I’ll try not to burn anything down.”

“I can’t be around you,” she said, the apology in her voice clear.

“I know,” he said softly.

“I would if I could.”

“I _know._ ”

She swallowed.

“But I’m here still. If you need someone. I mean, if you try to kill any of my friends or commit genocide, it’s a different story.”

He stood suddenly. His eyes were unreadable again, and the familiar flutter in her hearts returned. She didn’t know if she wanted to run or embrace him. He answered the question for her.

The Master wrapped his arms around her and squeezed hard. It was unfamiliar, but soothing.

_Doctor—_

_I know._

Their connection was quiet, despite the closeness.

_Go to bed now, Doctor._

She did so. He stayed up, quiet, reveling in her light snoring, and in the peace that would be inevitably, regrettably be gone by morning.


End file.
